the French Ministry of Education,
Patricia : I'm really happy to meet you and I would like to wish you a happy Christmas!
Patrice : Sorry to interrupt you, but don't you think it's a little bit too early?
Patricia (laughing in a very vulgar manner): Ah, ah, ah! I'm so confused, so excited at your sight! I'm completely upside-down... and so are my notes! You're just like one of my nightmares becoming real! (Silence...)... Well (reading her notes), I just want to welcome you very warmly in Kyushu and more precisely in Kyushu University. What are your first impressions?
Patrice : As you mentioned it, it's kind of very warm here! And, actually, I'm just hesitating. Should I stay or should I leave right now packing up all my stuff (a secondhand toothbrush, a soccer ball signed by Philippe Troussier and a manga of City Hunter)? Just ready to be on board of the same plane and in the same super low economy class as the French National Soccer Team?
Patricia (shouting and crying like an animated character of Doraemon): You made a point, but please don't go! "Ne me quitte pas!" I need you! Your departure would mean my virtual death. What are you afraid of?
Patrice : You know, Japan is trying very hard to be an up to date country. Every time France is on the winner side, there's a French boom! Everyone, here, will do his best not only to get the same sophisticated hairstyle than Zidane's one with a touch of Petit's one (the result would make you like Shimura Ken), but also to speak like Jacques Chirac when he is attempting to seduce his most favored Geisha! All that means a lot of students securing therefore my future in Japan. But if we are on the loser side, what will happen?
Patricia (drowning herself into an ocean of tears): May be you're right, Leonardo! But let's go back to our interview, Mister Dicaprio. It's not your first time in Japan, Mister Dipatricio. You've been teaching in different places: Kobe, Kyoto, Tokyo and now Kyushu...Are the students different? Are the towns different? Which place do you prefer? Are you married? Do you like Japanese food? Can you eat natto and raw snails? Can you speak a very polite Japanese? Can you use chopsticks?
Patrice (She is now sitting on his knees): Please, stop it! This interview is becoming silly. We are not in a zoo! I'm not Elephant Man and please, stop tearing off my shirt! I just got it in UNIQLO at a bargain price. What do you want me to say? Fukuoka is the most wonderful place on earth, its people are great, resources provided by Kyushu University are infinite and my colleagues are the most pleasant persons I have ever met... Let's speak frankly! You know, Japanese towns, from an architectural point of view, are quite disappointing and I don't want to establish a scale of values between them. Regarding people, it's always the same old story. I never try to judge them according to their respective nationalities and places of birth. Beyond the culture, which I considered as being just a light ornament creating our respective differences, our human feelings are pretty much the same. You like people or you don't like them. You're not supposed to be liked and even sometimes loved for what you represent as a foreigner but just for what you do and feel. And, exactly for the same reasons, you can be disliked or sometimes hatred. That's it, that's very simple!
Patricia (making herself up and visibly not interested by Patrice's last words): Very good, superb! But quite boring! In order to spice it up can you give us some names of colleagues you don't like? Media are always fond of that.
Patrice : Nonsense! The fact that I can't stand some of them doesn't mean that they are wrong. My feelings in terms of educational approaches are just different. I love to teach, I love to speak and I don't want to be confined in my room for the rest of my life completely absorbed in my researches. Teaching means being in contact and in love with the other. My researches are just hobbies but I do respect colleagues whose conceptions are different. We are just the two faces of the same coin. One is shining, the other one is otaku! I need a certain passion to teach!
Patricia (suddenly seeming quite excited): You mean, you can fall in love with one of your students, and maybe (suddenly blushing)... with me?
Patrice : Give me a break! Love has different meanings and I'm deeply sorry to tell you that, but you're not my type! Moreover, even if I need body contacts, even if I frequently touch my students and even if I kiss some of them to say Salut, it doesn't mean that I'm in love with them. Don't be ridiculous! Just consider the fact that I'm from a Latin country where expressing yourself with body language is as important as expressing yourself with words.
Patricia (quite humiliated and now quite aggressive, obviously looking for a revenge ): In fact, I hate you and I consider your program on TV is quite absurd! You're exaggerating, overacting and destroying the delicate and elegant image of the French culture! You are a bad guy!
Patrice : It's OK with me! I'm not trying to please everybody and my show is not intended for a French audience but don't forget that amplifying the various aspects of the French behaviours (attitude, intonation, gestures...) makes them clearer and easier to understand and therefore easier to imitate. My best teacher of Japanese was the TV! Not the news (Too static! Too icy!) but Shimura Ken and the Drifters!
Patricia : What a shame! It's disgusting!
|
Patrice Leroy |
| French language lecturer | |
| Civil servant of the French Ministry of Education, | |
| psychologic counsellor |
Patrice : Maybe not! Their humor sense was not supposed to be appreciated by all the Japanese. You can describe it as being childlike, vulgar, grotesque, very far from the traditional image we generally have of the Japanese culture or whatever you think. But, remember, they are 150% Japanese and their exaggerations helped me to get definitively in touch with the Japanese and their language...I'm suddenly exhausted and you know why?
Patricia : Please tell me! I will do anything to ease your pain!
Patrice : We are in Japan, you are French and so am I, right? So why must we conduct this interview in English?
Patricia : It's for KYUDAI NEWS! But I'm convinced they won't publish this!
Patrice : I'm just convinced of the opposite that's the reason why I like to teach here!People here are more open minded than you think. We are not in America!
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